We often want to blame others for our problems and our situations, but the reality is that we made some choices that lead to us being in that predicament, right? What differentiates the path of one person from another, if they both have made the exact same choice in the same exact situation? It is intention, right? It is the reasoning, the why. If I had good intentions, and you did not, but we both have ended up in the same place, what makes us different really?
If both of us go out and kill someone, and one person does it because he has been wronged and another does it for fun, does not the one who does it for fun get the harsher punishment? It should be that way, and by the way, I am not condoning killing. I am just giving you an example. If I work hard to be a good husband, a good father, and a good friend, shouldn't I have a better life? Shouldn't I have more that the one who cares not? It is not necessarily how things work!
There is something called Al-Qadar (The allowing or disallowing of something by the Creator, and He is the Wisest to decide what happens and to whom it happens!) He may have me going through all of this just to be blessed with the best at the end of the road. He may see fit that I go through some hardship in order to wipe away the slate for some bad deeds I had done before. Had He not done so, I would have to pay in the hereafter, and isn't hellfire a greater punishment!!!??? In this case, my good intentions and my good actions will end in a different outcome!
A knowledgable Muslim once told me, "everything that happens in your life, as a true and sincere believer in God, that is either one of two things. It is either %100 good, or there is more good in it that bad." How beautiful a statement! My life problems can now be written out in an easy to understand formula! If I try to be a good husband, a good father, a good whatever, and do it in the right way, then whatever follows it will be good. It may be a test, or a punishment, or something else, but it will always have more good in it that bad. If I crash my car, it's ok! Maybe I was to die at the next intersection, or maybe it's my way to a NEW car!
The problem with us human beings is that we don't see it, and often we just can't see it. It's often NOT for us to see. We have to follow the divine revelations and have faith. We have to hold on tight to what is right! It does not matter if you have made a mistake or not! God said, "if human beings were to stop sinning, I would destroy them, and I would then bring about a people that sinned!" Wow! Amazing! I wish someone would have told me that a long time ago!
People, no matter your situation or what your going through, always check your intentions and always know that there is more good in it than bad. If you can truly grasp that fact, you will be ok.... A fight with the wife will not be so bad! A broken bone or loss of job will not inflict as much pain, and you can live on to fight another day! We as Muslims are taught, "thank God and praise Him for everything!" In the Arabic, "al-hamdu-lee-llah 'ala qulee hal" (all praise and thanks is due to God, and He is deserving of it, for everything!)
For the sincere Muslim: A scholar said, "the one experiencing the hardship should say that it is a punishment and should try to better their self, and the one who sees another going through some hardship should say that it is because they have done something good and God is testing them." If you use this, it will benefit you in so many ways!
I hope this tid-bit of words helped someone somewhere, someway or somehow....
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it!!!!.........